I had to ask him a few questions about this (not so) farfetched plan, and what it’s like to work with those four charming sons of his.
Category: Gender
I’m featured in Cosmopolitan this week
One of the biggest challenges of being a die-hard pirate princess is that as a freelancer, it’s extremely difficult to sail and make a living. It’s a big reason why so many sailors are retired. (Although slowly, that’s changing!)
In any case, by the time I got home from my epic tall ship voyage, I’d had to give up all of my freelance gigs, not to mention my New York apartment. I needed some seed money to get on my feet again. The solution? Why, participating in a medical research study, of course! Today in Cosmo, I lay out the whole story.
Check it out and let me know what you think!
13 reasons not to date a sailor (via Matador Network)
My latest piece on travel site Matador Network already has at least one hater in the comments section, which is always fun. What do you guys think?

Warning: sailors may not resemble picture.
P.S. Thanks to my editor Ailsa Ross for helping shape this piece!
Perils of dating a pirate
Yeah, the first and last verse pretty much say it all here
I won’t forget when Peter Pan came to my house, took my hand
I said I was a boy; I’m glad he didn’t check.
I learned to fly, I learned to fight.
I lived a whole life in one night.
We saved each other’s lives out on the pirate’s deck.
And I remember that night
When I’m leaving a late night with some friends
And I hear somebody tell me it’s not safe,
someone should help me
I need to find a nice man to walk me home.
When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom,
Climbed what I could climb upon
And I don’t know how I survived,
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew.
And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too.
I was a kid that you would like, just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw.
My neighbor come outside to say, “Get your shirt,”
I said “No way, it’s the last time I’m not breaking any law.”
And now I’m in this clothing store, and the signs say less is more.
More that’s tight means more to see, more for them, not more for me.
That can’t help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat.
When I was a boy, See that picture? That was me,
Grass-stained shirt and dusty knees.
And I know things have gotta change,
They got pills to sell, they’ve got implants to put in,
they’ve got implants to remove.
But I am not forgetting…that I was a boy too.
And like the woods where I would creep, it’s a secret I can keep
Except when I’m tired, ‘cept when I’m being caught off guard
And I’ve had a lonesome awful day, the conversation finds its way
To catching fire-flies out in the backyard.
And so I tell the man I’m with about the other life I lived
And I say, “Now you’re top gun, I have lost and you have won”
And he says, “Oh no, no, can’t you see
When I was a girl, my mom and I we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could always cry, now even when I’m alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl too.
And you were just like me, and I was just like you.”